January 9, 2010

This is Me, Take It or Leave It, I Am Not Changing!!!

it really irks me when you have no idea where you stand with someone. i mean either way i would understand. i know i am quirky and all that but don't lead me on and pretend to like me if you don't. ugh... and how does one ask a question like that and not cause drama for the other people it may affect... tricky, tricky...

so in a total ADD moment, sorry. here's how my day started...

woke up to getting a random text from my half sister debbie (I LOVE YOU DEBBIE!!!) it was so random i must write it here (it even lead to a mini debate between troy and i LOL. i said no he said yes.)

"if you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?" how's that for a question at 7am? LOL

an hour later (was still in bed, had 5 hormone induced anxiety attacks through out the night, oh and 1 really bad hot flash LOL) i get a text from two clients (they are a couple, so cute together too!) that they couldn't make it today and apologized. they usually always make it, so i didn't let it bum me out too bad. i understand stuff happens and comes up in life. so then as i am getting the room ready for my 11:30am class i get a call from troy that julie and her friend weren't able to make it. so it would just be me and ann (a spunky 60 something woman that i adore! she always makes me laugh and smile and we had an amazing one-on-one class). i must admit i was bummed at julie and her friend not making it. so this of course set the mood for a bit of a downer for me. i worked through most of it, then after class when troy picked me up (car battery died....again) we talked about it, and it bummed me out again. i know some of this is hormone induced, so that helps a little. another part isn't. this is the part that wants a friend and social interaction soo bad that i leap at any chance for it. i sound like a drug addict don't i LOL. does this mean i am a people addict? i just get soo lonely. i haven't seen a friend of any sort in months. i sit at home and work and work and work. plus with all the heavy stuff i have been having to deal with lately having a friend would be so nice!
i am not a big person on going out all the time, crowds stress me out, loud noises get to me, i know i am old lady, what can i say LOL. but even hanging out watching t.v. with a friend sounds amazing at the moment. i make jokes all the time about putting a " Need a BFF" ad on craigslist LOL.
now i know i have friends, but about 99% of all of them don't live in the same state or even the same coast as me, which doesn't help when i need a girl's night out/in, whatever.

i'd like to think that this isn't asking for too much. and it's not like i am asking to hang out with anyone everyday or something, but like once a month or something would be fantastic.

i know my interests are weird, i am a yoga addict (and according to troy i am a yoga-deala! yes he even says it like that LOL). i have this weird obession with ninjas (you can blame christian bale in batman begins LOL), i am obsessed with my chihuahua, i love music (playing and listening), i LOVE movies (comedies, drama, sci-fi, not picky as long as it's good, or if it's bad it has to be bad enough to laugh at... coughs... blood rayne...) i love books ( for the past 2 years i have been obessed with vampire, werewolf, witch, etc, type books, i think because they are true fantasty!) i have recently (in the past year) become in love with werewolves, why because they rock LOL. actually it's kinda funny that i am. i LOVE the moon, love to get mojito to howl (i call him my mini-were now LOL), love wolves, found out my spirit animal is a wolf, so i guess it makes sense right? plus you have to admit that if you could shapeshift into something that would be pretty cool! i like cute little online games, like petville (why i lvoe this game so much i will never know LOL). i am a recovering WOW (world of warcraft, yes even i fell prey to it LOL) addict, but due to this game i met some of the most amazing people.... heather, meghan, dyan, my cybermom, greta, etc.) i have a ton of allergies (and enjoy gluten free and sugar free baking). all in all i am a geek. but i am proud to be one! and i know that a lot of the things i love most people don't. but this is who i am and darn it i think that's A-OK! (took me FOREVER to come to this realization, you have no idea). troy almost passed out when i said that and this today... that i am a good person and i deserve happiness! i am worthy of happiness and good friends! yes people, i actually said those lines today!!! i have 3 witness, sure only 1 is human, but still, they are witnesses!!! (the other 2 were shadow, one of our cats, and mojito!)

so there....phew! i got all that off my chest and now i think i have carpal tunnel from typing this book LOL.

thank you all for all your love and support!!! i love all of you soooooooooooooooooo much!